The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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