should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I had to cum in my sink.
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