well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
