Heybabeimwearingurpanties
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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