so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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