I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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