I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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