i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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