she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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