I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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