im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
