I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
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Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
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