After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
