you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
