just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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