Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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