If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
