I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
