every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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