My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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