i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
