break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
