Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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