So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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