I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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