it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
why do cheetos always look like penises
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
