I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This is my gift to your gina
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
