So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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