After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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