my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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