Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
