dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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