she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
