no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
