You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
