he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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