How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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