Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's shark week go big or go home
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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