whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It's official drugs can't kill me
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
