and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize