i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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