I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
