I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
