So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
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i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
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We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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