just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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