If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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