Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
