I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
This house was built for laser tag.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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