Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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