I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
