What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
