I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
