I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Damn victory sex feels great
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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