His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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