in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
