Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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