did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
