that's an acceptable place to lick
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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